I'll Decide on a Title Later

My EdD classes run in quarters that officially run for ten weeks with an exams' week before a short break. The weeks run Monday to Sunday, so today is the last day of Week 5, so just about halfway through, with much to do in the remaining time. I made it a goal this quarter to attempt a Blogger post when I am "caught up" with that week's activities. Journaling is embedded into both classes this quarter; this is a frequent practice. I don't feel like I always have brilliant contributions to the journals, but I do my best to put in writing what I took from the learning process.  For my qualitative research course, we did Cycle I coding, and I have this next week to Cycle II coding and write out and organize the data into another template. I had a meeting with one of the two professors who lead the class. They have connections to my research, so it was validating to discuss the content. They and I started a conversation about my emerging ideas for a dissertation. It ...

 This past academic week (Monday to Sunday) of my doctoral program included Cycle I coding for my pilot study. One of my participants spoke about her various social identities - her sexuality, her religion, and her disability status. Reviewing that data led me to reflect on parts of my identity that I have cast aside or at least put on hold because of my own perception of their incompatibility with this self-constructed concept of what I should be as an educator. I adopted beliefs and even methods of interacting that still feel fake to me. It's not that I like sincerity in how I care for students in my class. If anything, wanting to avoid conflict because of deeply ingrained thought patterns, I have been too polite in the classroom. It's a trait that was both frustrating and one I grew to care about less as the years went on. If I had been honest and equitable in grading all these years, far fewer would have received the grades they did. But, I'm moving beyond the point of ...

Last week I wrote a blog post about my decision to retire from in-person teaching to step into the fear. As of this writing, 29 people have at least clicked on that post. I do not know who my audience was. For all I know, one of my readers could change my destiny for the better or for the worse. I embrace both ends of the spectrum. I wrote the post while getting routine maintenance and an oil change on my car. I had not checked into my workday yet, just like I have not checked in as of this writing. My best clarity seems to come before I enter into the teaching world. I'm sure there's much to unpack there. Anyway, last Friday I had posted this across groups on LinkedIn and Facebook. Then I went into my work email, and the winds changed. An email became the catalyst for angered frustration and defeat. The actual situation is irrelevant now because I have since been able to talk it through. However, it certainly became another catalyst for change. It wasn't just my interpreta...

I never wanted a career in education. People told me I would be good at it, and I followed their direction. My first job in education began in January 2000, working as a 1:1 classroom aide in a separate special education program. This semester, as I drive 40 minutes in one direction to teach a 49-minute class, I practically pass my first classroom. I have been in many classrooms, across nine school districts, one adult education program, and five colleges/universities. For three of the school districts and two of the colleges, I taught at locations beyond the "main campus," so I've lost track of the actual number of locations. I have never had a consistent classroom at the college level either, so to recall the number of actual classrooms would be impossible. This semester I am teaching six classes, with two of them split across accelerated classes. So, technically, right now I have five classes and will lose one soon and start one again officially in 24 days.  But, the p...