End of Week 5

My EdD classes run in quarters that officially run for ten weeks with an exams' week before a short break. The weeks run Monday to Sunday, so today is the last day of Week 5, so just about halfway through, with much to do in the remaining time. I made it a goal this quarter to attempt a Blogger post when I am "caught up" with that week's activities. Journaling is embedded into both classes this quarter; this is a frequent practice. I don't feel like I always have brilliant contributions to the journals, but I do my best to put in writing what I took from the learning process. 

For my qualitative research course, we did Cycle I coding, and I have this next week to Cycle II coding and write out and organize the data into another template. I had a meeting with one of the two professors who lead the class. They have connections to my research, so it was validating to discuss the content. They and I started a conversation about my emerging ideas for a dissertation. It may be an autoethnography or narrative inquiry, instead of the phenomenology I am writing about for my pilot study. There are some ways I could approach the work, such as analyzing the relationship between being an Adult Child of an Alcoholic and how it impacted my work in the classroom or how my queerness and theater background shaped how I viewed my work. There could be related ideas, but these are my starting points. The two of us, and then the other instructor and I at a later time, began talking about how I can approach it as a creative dissertation. I need to incorporate my creative writing and acting in some fashion. Proposal writing for my 2026 dissertation begins this upcoming spring quarter, so it's still a while away. But, this past year and change seems to have flown by in retrospect. Thus, it's really not that far away.

I feel like I am in a different space than I was a year ago. My goals for why I am in the program have changed. Initially, I began the process thinking it would help me move into a full-time teaching position at the least. But, I discovered three times over that that is not my destiny. At one college where I no longer work, my application to teach full-time was not even acknowledged. I had applied for a full-time position at my current job but withdrew the application due to anxiety over potentially getting the job and then feeling as if I could then not walk away from it. Another position was re-opened, and I did not apply for it. Additionally, this week I was put in an in-person class that meets once a week. I turned down the offer. Whether that comes back to haunt me is to be discovered, but I'm going to stay true to my decision. At the end of this semester, after 25 years, I'm going to leave in-person teaching to discover what else is available to me. 

I will still look for online teaching opportunities as I continue to search and apply for administrative positions it would be appropriate for me to hold. My schedule does not allow for radically different work right now since I still have 27 in-person days to account for, but a flexible starting schedule is quite possible. Some days I am quite busy, and some days, like today, I spent less than ten minutes dealing with work. Yet, within 24 hours of writing this sentence, I will have already taught and been on the way home from my morning class. My research course released Week 6 already, and my leadership course will be released tomorrow. I'm likely to start the research reading today after I submit this to my small but appreciated audience. 

Later today I'll help my nephew with writing a cover letter. It's an activity I enjoy. I can help others with resume and cover letter writing. One of my goals in the transition is to figure out how to establish that as a "side hustle." When I'm in teaching mode, which is what I call the periods when returning to an actual classroom is days away or I appeared in front of a classroom, I tend to forget about the other aspects of my life. I have so much more to offer, and I often forget I am not just "an English teacher." But, that is the impression I tend to have imparted on people. I know I reinforce that by posting status updates such as, "My first piece of feedback for the day: Don't write LOL in academic writing." I know it's what they expect, and I contribute to that impression management. Guilty as charged. 

After I closed out my Cycle I class, I cleaned up my notes for the remaining work as a visual guide for myself. It not only reflects all the work I'm asking them to do, but all the work I need to comment upon and grade for the next eight weeks. 

Who's really earning the degree here?